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SEXUAL

Physical | Intercourse | Copulation

 

       

 

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Defining Sex

 

"Sex" refers to biological or physical activity of an erotic, sensual, or carnal nature, including specifically sexual intercourse. "Sex" used in this sense refers to a physical act engaged in generally for the purpose of love, pleasure, or reproduction.

 

From pleasure to procreation, and everything in between, today's reasons for taking a roll in the hay seem to vary as much as the terms for the deed itself. A 2010 Sexuality & Culture review of sex motivation studies states that people are offering "far more reasons for choosing to engage in sexual activity than in former times." And we're doing it more often too. It’s a stark contrast from historical assumptions, which cited only three sexual motives: To make babies, to feel good, or because you're in love.

 



Today, sexual behaviors seem to have taken on many different psychological, social, cultural, even religious meanings. Yet, some sexologists say, at the most basic level, there is only one true reason people seek sex.  We are "wired" for sex.  "We are programmed to do so," sex therapist Richard A. Carroll, associate Northwestern University psychiatry and behavioral sciences professor says. "Asking why people have sex is akin to asking why we eat. Our brains are designed to motivate us toward that behavior."
 

Why Do People Have Sex?

Let's Talk About Gay Sex

What Gay Men Really Do in Bed

Gay Sex Tips You Didn't Learn in Middle School Sex Ed
Biggest Myths About LGBTQ Sex

Web MD: Reasons People Have Sex

Psychology Today: Reasons People Have Sex

CNN Lisa Ling: This is Sex

How Do Lesbians Have Sex?

Video: The Fear of Being Bad in Bed

Preferred Positions

Ultimate Ranking of Common Sex Positions

Info: Sensuality and Desire

Strangers Kissing Each Other for the First Time

Video: Gay Couple Tries Every Kiss in the World

Carrie's List of Lovers: Four Weddings and a Funeral

 

Sexual Activity

 

Sexual activity is described in our society by a variety of terms, including intercourse, sexual congress, lovemaking, mating, consummation, copulation, and coitus.

 

Informally, sex has been referred to as making love, making whoopee, getting laid, getting lucky, nooky, bonking, boinking, boffing, banging, humping, shagging, screwing, fucking, hooking up, and a roll in the hay.

 

It has also been referred to as fornication, carnal knowledge, making babies, the facts of life, the birds and the bees, putting out, and going all the way. 

 

Quite often sexual activity is described in polite or ambiguous terms such as "going to bed with" or "sleeping with."

 

 

Why Do People Have Sex?

Let's Talk About Gay Sex

What Gay Men Really Do in Bed

Web MD: Reasons People Have Sex

Psychology Today: Reasons People Have Sex

CNN Lisa Ling: This is Sex

How Do Lesbians Have Sex?

Biggest Myths About LGBTQ Sex
Video: The Fear of Being Bad in Bed

Preferred Positions

Ultimate Ranking of Common Sex Positions

 

Regarding sexual activity and the foreplay leading up to it, the baseball analogy has been in usage for a long time:

 

First base – kissing

Second base – touching, heavy petting, rubbing

Third base – oral sex

Home run – intercourse

 

What qualifies as sex?  What acts are considered to be sex?  The Urban Dictionary suggests that if a person has an orgasm (ejaculation) in your presence with your permission, consent, or active participation, you just had sex.

 

We typically think of sex as any consensual insertion of one body part into another body part or orafice, as in the insertion of a penis or finger into a vagina, mouth, or anus.

 

Sex can also be described as any consensual interaction of one body part with another body part or orafice, usually involving caressing, rubbing, stroking, or fondling.  Sex, broadly defined, includes vaginal, oral, anal, or manual forms.

 

Classical psychoanalytic theory describes sex in terms of "organ pleasure" derived from the erogenous zones and processes of the body, including the mouth, anus, urethra, breasts, skin, muscles, and genitals, as well as such functions as sucking, biting, masturbating and having intercourse.
 

 

Most Popular Sex Positions

Preferred Positions

What Gay Men Really Do in Bed

What's the Difference: Fucking vs Making Love

How Do Lesbians Have Sex?

Info: Safe Sex

Let's Talk About Gay Sex

How Do Lesbians Have Sex?
Video: The Fear of Being Bad in Bed

Erogenous Zones Defined and Explained

Touch by Shura

Surprising Sex Stats

Ultimate Ranking of Common Sex Positions

Curve: Loving Another Woman

Psychology Today: Are You GGG?

Scarleteen: Sex Ed For The Real World

Video Advice: Importance of Kissing

Sex Doesn't Always Have to Be So Serious
What Does It Mean to Be a Top, Bottom, or Vers?
 

Having Sex

 

People who identify as lesbian, gay, bi or heterosexual can give and express pleasure in many ways. There isn’t just one way for two people to have sex, no matter what sex or sexual orientation they are.

 

What two people of the same sex do to have sex together depends on what feels good for them. Often, people think that sex is only putting a penis into a vagina, but that may not be the activity that brings the most pleasure to the two people. This is true for heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian and gay people.

 

 

Strangers Kissing Each Other for the First Time

Video: Gay Couple Tries Every Kiss in the World

Carrie's List of Lovers: Four Weddings and a Funeral

Jess and Emily: How Lesbians Do It

Erogenous Zones Defined and Explained

Alternative Orgasms: New Ways to Hit the Spot

Video Advice: Importance of Kissing

Most Popular Sex Positions

TED Talk: Is Casual Sex Bad For You?

Queer YouTubers: Losing Your Virginity

Myths and Lies About Sex

Info: Safe Sex

 

Males who identify as gay, bisexual or just do sexual things with other males may use their fingers (manual stimulation), mouths (oral sex) and various body parts to give and receive pleasure. They may kiss, touch each other’s bodies or touch the penis and other areas including the scrotum or the anus. Sometimes they use penises to penetrate the anal opening (anal sex).

 

Females who identify as lesbian, bisexual or just do sexual things with other females may touch each other’s genitals by using their fingers (manual stimulation), mouths (oral sex) and various body parts. They may kiss, touch each other’s breasts or touch the clitoris and other areas of the vagina or the anus. Sometimes they use their fingers to penetrate the vaginal opening or to penetrate the anal opening (anal sex). Some also rub their vulvas together (tribbing).

 

 

It is possible to transmit sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) through many of these practices, so it is important for people who have partners of the same sex to read up on safer sex. It is important to use a condom for oral sex performed on a male and for anal sex, and to use a dental dam or a condom that is cut length-wise to create a sheet of latex to use as a barrier when performing oral-anal stimulation or oral sex on a female.

 

When two people can communicate well, they can experience a wide range of sexual activities that are mutually agreed on, pleasurable and creative. This is true whether they are heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian or gay.

 

[Source: Scatrleteen]

 

Why Do People Have Sex?

Web MD: Reasons People Have Sex

Penis Song by Monty Python

ABC's of Gay Sex: What is Tribbing?

What Does It Mean to Be a Top, Bottom, or Vers?

Biggest Myths About LGBTQ Sex
Myths and Lies About Sex

Info: Safe Sex

Psychology Today: Reasons People Have Sex

Ultimate Ranking of Common Sex Positions

Simple Tips For Your First Bathhouse Experience
Queer YouTubers: Losing Your Virginity

Orgasms: Real or Fake?
Most Popular Sex Positions

Gay Sex Tips You Didn't Learn in Middle School Sex Ed

Let's Talk About Gay Sex

Cute Song: Enormous Penis
 

 

How Do Lesbians Have Sex?

 

How do Lesbians have sex? The same way anyone else does. Which is to say, any vast number of different ways.

 

Sex isn't just heterosexual intercourse. Sex is any number of combination of things people of all stripes do together to seek mutual sexual pleasure, and what those things or that combination are varies for everyone, even from day to day.

 

So, on a given day, Lesbian Couple A may want to engage in some mutual masturbation and some oral sex, while Lesbian Couple B may choose to engage in shared manual sex and genital massage mixed in with some role play, and Lesbian Couple C may decide to do some big-time snuggling paired with strap-on play.

 

 

There's really nothing heterosexual couples can do that lesbian couples cannot. Even vaginal intercourse isn't exclusive to heterosexuals, when it's something lesbian women want, as it can be done either with hands or with sex toys. That said, intercourse usually isn't seen as "the" sex the way it can be in many male-female partnerships, given that a majority of women don't find intercourse all by itself that satisfying, but plenty of hetero couples have, by now, clued into the fact that intercourse shouldn't be the main thing on the menu, too. All the things most people think of as sex (making out, frottage, manual sex, mutual masturbation, oral sex, vaginal intercourse, anal sex), lesbians can also do it.

 

Figuring out what it is exactly we do with any given partner isn't some script we follow, or determined based on what sets of chromosomes or genitals are in the mix, it's about exploring our unique sexuality and theirs, communicating, experimenting, and varying what we do, and how we do it, based on mutual wants, needs and preferences.

 

[Source: Heather Corinna, Scarleteen]

 

What Gay Men Really Do in Bed

How Do Lesbians Have Sex?

Ultimate Guide to Eating Out

Vagina Song by Lewberger

Jess and Emily: How Lesbians Do It

ABC's of Gay Sex: What is Tribbing?
Don't Like Anal: Harsh Reality of Being a "Side"
Ultimate Ranking of Common Sex Positions

Mind-blowing Lesbian Sex Positions

Alternative Orgasms: New Ways to Hit the Spot

Best Gay Sex Positions

Candid Chat About Lesbian Intercourse

Intro to Vaginas

Cosmopolitan: Lesbians Sex Positions

Sex Positions for Women Who Sleep with Women

Info: Safe Sex

How Do Lesbians Have Sex?

Scarleteen: Glossary of Sexual Terms

Video: Gay Couple Tries Every Kiss in the World

I Hated Oral Sex My Entire Life: Here's How I Finally Fell In Love With It.
 

 

Gay Men Having Sex

 

Despite the popular perception, sexual behaviors involving the anus were least common among gay men, researchers found. Around 75 percent of participants reported kissing their partners, giving oral sex, and/or receiving oral sex in their most recent sexual encounters. By contrast, only 36 percent of men reporting receiving anal sex and 34 percent of men reporting giving it. Half of participants who engaged in anal sex employed a condom. The most common series of activities in the encounter (reported by 16 percent of men) involved holding their partner romantically, kissing partner on mouth, solo masturbation, masturbating partner, masturbation by partner, and genital–genital contact.

 

[Source: Amanda Hess, Good Worldwide, October 2011]

 

Why Do People Have Sex?

Gay Sex Positions

Biggest Myths About LGBTQ Sex

Queer YouTubers: Losing Your Virginity

Web MD: Reasons People Have Sex

Psychology Today: Reasons People Have Sex

Cute Song: Enormous Penis

How Do I Know if I’m a Bottom?

Nine Myths About Sex

What Does It Mean to Be a Top, Bottom, or Vers?

Mistakes First-Time Tops Make
Ask Men: Gay Sex Positions

Sex Doesn't Always Have to Be So Serious

Simple Tips For Your First Bathhouse Experience

Penis Song by Monty Python

Psychology Today: Are You GGG?

 

 

Lesbian Sex

 

Question: “How do lesbians have sex?”  Of the many responses the Yahoo Answers webpage received for such a question, the following answer was voted The Best: “Honestly, I don’t know how two women can do anything that qualifies as sex. Two guys can have anal, but two women don’t have much to work with.”

 

Now I could follow the twisted, homophobic “logic” that “gay people can’t have real sex” because there’s no penis and vagina pairing. But why is it that so many people have no problem wrapping their heads around gay male sex but can’t even begin to contemplate what sex might look like between two women? I know that social norms and the sad closeting of clitoral-focused female pleasure has led us all to believe that your North Pole is truly the center of everyone’s sexual gravity, but the world of sex doesn’t actually revolve around your penis. Sorry.

 

However, if you asked a U-Haul full of lesbians what lesbian sex is, they’d probably be hard pressed to agree on the same answer. But just because we don’t have a formulaic Tab A to insert into Slot B doesn’t mean we can’t have real sex. In fact, existing outside this formula often makes lesbian sex more dynamic, creative and orgasmic exactly because it does not revolve around one particular penile axis.

 

Jess and Emily: How Lesbians Do It

Erogenous Zones Defined and Explained

Orgasms: Real or Fake?

Alternative Orgasms: New Ways to Hit the Spot

Munching: Ultimate Guide to Eating Out

Video Advice: Importance of Kissing

Most Popular Sex Positions

TED Talk: Is Casual Sex Bad For You?

Vagina Song by Lewberger

How Do Lesbians Have Sex?

Queer YouTubers: Losing Your Virginity

Myths and Lies About Sex

Info: Safe Sex

 

 

So what is lesbian sex?

 

Digital: Penetration or even just some well-placed rubbing with fingers and hands. A couple of dainty extremities seem puny in the shadow of your Eiffel Tower? How about three? Or four? Or, hell, even a whole fist? What if you treated digital penetration as your sexual entree instead of a quick appetizer? It’s truly amazing, the number of ways we ladies can score another lady’s digits (And I don’t just mean scribbled on a bar napkin).

 

Oral: Cunnilingus. Many seem to think that diving for muff is a woman’s favorite thing to do when confronted with a vagina. It’s simply not the case for all. Just like all straight people don’t love missionary style (right?), not all lesbians like oral sex. However, the fact that oral doesn’t (always) include penetration doesn’t mean it isn’t considered sex by many.

 

Vaginal or Anal Penetrative with a Dildo or Vibrator: The dildo may or may not be strapped on with a harness. This is where the holes in the “no sex without my penis” argument really expand (puns always intended). A dildo looks like a penis, is strapped onto the same place an anatomical penis would go, goes into the same opening as a penis and can feel a lot like a flesh-and-blood penis, too. Since it comes in all different sizes, shapes and colors, I’d say we actually have lots to work with.

 

Frottage: This is grinding or scissoring or any fancy word you want to use for rubbing up against each other.

 

[Source: Yana Tallon-Hicks, Valley Advocate, November 2012]

 

Ultimate Ranking of Common Sex Positions

Dan Savage: Savage Love

Biggest Myths About LGBTQ Sex

Info: Safe Sex

Most Popular Sex Positions

ABC's of Gay Sex: What is Tribbing?

Erogenous Zones Defined and Explained

Jess and Emily: How Lesbians Do It

Penis Song by Monty Python

Mind-blowing Lesbian Sex Positions

Scarleteen: Sex Ed For The Real World

Carrie's List of Lovers: Four Weddings and a Funeral

Video: Actual Definition of Virgin

Preferred Positions

Munching: Ultimate Guide to Eating Out

Intro to Vaginas

What's the Difference: Fucking vs Making Love

 

 

Sex Terms

 

Insertive Partner (Top) - Giver. Sexual partner who is inserting a part of their bodies into a partner's body in some way.

 

Receptive Partner (Bottom) - Receiver. Sexual partner who is having something done to them, or who is taking a part of a partner's body or a sex toy into their bodies.

 

Switch (Vers) - Sexual partner who is versatile, who alternates or switches between the top (giver) and bottom (receiver) positions.

 

Side -  Men who find fulfillment in every kind of sexual act except anal penetration. Instead, a broad range of oral, manual and frictional body techniques provide a release that's rich in emotional, physical and psychological rewards. Some adherents refer to these activities as "outercourse."

 

Intercourse - When people interlock their genitals and move together as feels good to them for the purpose of sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.

 

Outercourse - Non-penetrative sex. Other sexual activities besides vaginal sex.

 

 

Carrie's List of Lovers: Four Weddings and a Funeral

Info: Sensuality, Libido, Lust, Desire

Gay Sex Tips You Didn't Learn in Middle School Sex Ed

CNN Lisa Ling: This is Sex

Lesbian Sex Positions 101

Women's Health: Trying Out Sex With another Woman

TED Talk: Unsexy Truth of Hookup Culture

Orgasms: Real or Fake?

Erogenous Zones Defined and Explained

Simple Tips For Your First Bathhouse Experience

Munching: Ultimate Guide to Eating Out

Sex Doesn't Always Have to Be So Serious

Most Popular Sex Positions

Preferred Positions


Vaginal Intercourse - When a penis or sex toy is inserted into and held by the vagina while partners move their bodies as feels good to them for the purpose of sexual stimulation and/or reproduction.

 

Introitus - The entrance into a canal or hollow organ, such as the vagina. "Vaginal introitus" is another term for the vaginal opening.

 

Fingering - Use of fingers or hands to sexually stimulate the vulva (including the clitoris) or vagina. Fingering is also called digital penetration. Fingering may include the use of fingers to sexually stimulate the anus. Fingering may be performed on oneself (masturbation) or by or with a sexual partner.

 

Dry Sex - A kind of sex where people have clothes on, but are pressing their genitals together. This can also be called frottage, grinding, or dry humping.

 

Frottage - Rubbing against the body of another person (usually with clothes on) to express sexual feelings or seek out sexual pleasure. "Dry humping" is a form of frottage.

 

 

Video: The Fear of Being Bad in Bed

How Do I Bottom?

Ultimate Ranking of Common Sex Positions

ABC's of Gay Sex: What is Tribbing?

Munching: Ultimate Guide to Eating Out

Most Popular Sex Positions

Psychology Today: Moving Beyond Vanilla Sex

Don't Like Anal: Harsh Reality of Being a "Side"
How to Ask Your Boyfriend for a Threesome

Biggest Myths About LGBTQ Sex

Let's Talk About Anal Sex

Info: Safe Sex

 

Tribadism - Rubbing one's genitals against another person's genitals directly, usually without clothing, to express sexual feelings and seek out sexual pleasure. Used most often in the context of lesbian sex. "Tribbing" is another term for tribadism.

 

Scissoring - Lesbian sex act where two partners interlock their spread legs (like two pairs of scissors) and rub their vulvae together to stimulate each other's clitoris. A type of tribadism, the practice has many colloquialisms, including making tortillas, polishing mirrors, twisted sisters, and muff buffing.  It is also called the X position.

 

Petting - Affectionate or sexual stroking and touching. Petting historically has also meant any kind of sexually activity besides intercourse. When it includes kinds of direct genital stimulation, it's sometimes called "heavy petting."

 

Making Out - A vague term, but often a session of extended activity that includes passionate or deep kissing, some kind of other body contact and may even include other kinds of sex, like manual sex (fingering or handjobs).

 

Mutual Masturbation - When sexual partners masturbate together. Sometimes people also use "mutual masturbation" to mean manual sex (fingering or handjobs) done at the same time.

 

 

Oral Sex - Use of the mouth, lips or tongue for sexual stimulation to the clitoris or penis.

 

Cunnilingus - Type of oral sex.  Use of the mouth, lips or tongue for sexual stimulation to the clitoris. Sometimes referred to as "going down on" someone.

 

Fellatio - Type of oral sex.  Use of the mouth, lips or tongue for sexual stimulation to the penis. Sometimes referred to as a "blowjob".

 

Analingus - Use of the mouth, lips or tongue for sexual stimulation to the anus. Sometimes referred to as "rimming."

 

Anal Sex - Sexual activity involving penetration of the anus.

 

Orgasm - Sexual climax. Ejaculation or secretion of semen or vaginal fluid.  Sometimes referred to as "coming" or "cumming."

 

Myths and Lies About Sex

TED Talk: Unsexy Truth of Hookup Culture

What Gay Men Really Do in Bed

ABC's of Gay Sex: What is Tribbing?

Video Advice: Importance of Kissing

Gay Sex Tips You Didn't Learn in Middle School Sex Ed

Vagina Song by Lewberger
Alternative Orgasms: New Ways to Hit the Spot

Munching: Ultimate Guide to Eating Out

Cosmopolitan: Women Going Down on Women

Simple Tips For Your First Bathhouse Experience

Orgasms: Real or Fake?

Info: Sensuality

 

Are You a "Side"?


In the hook-up world, users on such apps as Grindr or Scruff are given three choices as to their sexual practices: Top, bottom, or versatile.

But what of those who feel they don't fit into these categories? Grindr has come up with a solution. In May 2022, Grindr added a position called "side," a designation that upends the binary that has historically dominated gay male culture. "Sides" are men who find fulfillment in every kind of sexual act except anal penetration. Instead, a broad range of oral, manual and frictional body techniques provide a release that's rich in emotional, physical and psychological rewards. Some adherents refer to these activities as "outercourse."

The term is derived in 2013 by the sex therapist and author Dr. Joe Kort, but only in the past year has it achieved wider usage. Kort created a Facebook page "Side Guys" to give the men a forum for acceptance and, perhaps, to start a movement. "I wanted to create a community," he said. "I wanted to help people get rid of the loneliness and the shame."

 



A YouTube video on the subject features a young guy tells some friends that he's been seeing an array of men but not topping or bottoming. One friend quizzically asks: So, what are you doing with these men? Shaking hands?  The young guys responds: When it comes to sex, I do everything but butt.

While there has been some pushback from those that doubt the viability of the term "side," with some doubting that someone wouldn't be interested in penetration, some suggest that these feelings come from a deep place.

"I've been having these feelings since I was 10," one gay man explained. "When anal sex was introduced to me as a college student, I was like: It's not going to happen. People would say, What's wrong with you? Are you a virgin? I felt totally disenfranchised. Finally, in my 40s, I decided I would no longer feel ashamed."
 

[Source: Edge Media Network, June 2022]

 

Grindr Now Acknowledges New Sexual Definition: Side
What Does it Mean to be a "Side"?
Grindr Adds New Sexual Preference Beyond Just Top, Bottom and Vers
Top, Bottom, Vers

Healthline: Losing Your Virginity

Penis Song by Monty Python

Sex Doesn't Always Have to Be So Serious

Rise of the Sides: Grindr Finally Recognizes Gay Men Who Aren’t Tops or Bottoms
How Do Lesbians Have Sex?

Don't Like Anal: Harsh Reality of Being a "Side"
Cute Song: Enormous Penis

What Does It Mean to Be a Top, Bottom, or Vers?

Scarleteen: Glossary of Sexual Terms

First Time Sex

 

 

Erogenous Zones

 

An erogenous zone is an area of the human body that has heightened sensitivity, the stimulation of which may generate a sexual response, such as relaxation, sexual fantasies, sexual arousal and orgasm.

Erogenous zones are located all over the human body, but the sensitivity of each varies, and depends on concentrations of nerve endings that can provide pleasurable sensations when stimulated. The touching of another person's erogenous zone is regarded as an act of physical intimacy. Whether a person finds stimulation in these areas to be pleasurable or objectionable depends on a range of factors, including his or her level of arousal, the circumstances in which it takes place, the cultural context, the nature of the relationship between the partners, and the partners' personal histories.

Erogenous zones may be classified by the type of sexual response that they generate. Many people are gently aroused when their eyelids, eyebrows, temples, shoulders, hands, arms and hair are subtly touched. Gently touching or stroking of these zones stimulates a partner during foreplay and increases the arousal level. Also, the gentle massage or stroke of the abdominal area along with kissing or simply touching the navel can be a type of stimulation.

 

 

Private Parts

 

Penis (not including the scrotum) - Male sex organ. Slang terms include: dick, cock, prick, pecker, crank, peter, shaft, schlong, shmekl, johnson, ding-a-ling, member, anaconda, python, gherkin, pickle, sausage, baloney, weiner, hot dog, kielbasa, salami, wang, winky, willie, trouser snake, pocket rocket, phallus, knob, skin flute, may pole, tallywacker, tool, joy stick, magic wand, hardware.

 

Vagina (not including the clitoris) - Female sex organ. Slang terms include: pussy, cunt, twat, snatch, beaver, muff, cooter, flange, taco, fur burger, hair pie, bush, hoo hoo, kitty, love box, poon tang, vajayjay, coochie, peach, muffin, girly bits, coin purse, lady jane, rosebud, tutti frutti, honey pot, panty hamster, camel toe, south mouth, squeeze box, pink canoe, love tunnel, mount pleasant.

 

 

Special Sauce

 

Semen (Sperm) - Male discharge or ejaculate during orgasm. Slang terms include: cum, jizz, spooge, spunk, spangle, cream, man milk, pearl jam, man sauce, chowder, dick sauce, penis batter, trojan yogurt, egg nog, man spackle, baby gravy, dude milk, leche, love mayo, cock batter, dong fluid, penis colada, number three.

 

Vaginal Fluids (Secretions) - Female discharge during orgasm.  Slang terms include: girl cum, jizim, snail trail, splooge, vayjayjuice, fem lube, queef, kitten juice, clit juice, twat water, kitty sweat, muff milk, slitquid, joy juice, cunt honey, cooch juice, vag dis, love liquor, girl gravy, pussy juice, vag pulp, vulva sauce, panty waste.

 

Video: Being Healthy Sexual

Orgasms: Real or Fake?

Healthy Sexual is New Term for Safe Sex

Psychology Today: Are You GGG?

Vagina Song by Lewberger
Healthline: What is Female Ejaculation?

Alternative Orgasms: New Ways to Hit the Spot

Let's Talk About Gay Sex

Simple Tips For Your First Bathhouse Experience

Top, Bottom, Vers

American Sexual Health Association

Queer YouTubers: Losing Your Virginity

CNN Lisa Ling: This is Sex

Coming: Orgasm Tips and Info for Men

Outercourse Techniques

Jess and Emily: How Lesbians Do It

 

 

Healthy Sexual

 

The term "safe sex" is being replaced by "healthysexual." There is a new campaign that is seeking to change the way we talk about sex.

 

To anyone who grew up with the language of 1980s and 1990s public service announcements, the term “safe sex” won’t raise any concerns. At the time, posters, TV advertisements, and radio spots tackled, with conservative frankness, the rampant and deadly spread of HIV. “Safe sex”, modern critics now believe, suggested that many sexual activities, specifically non-heteronormative ones, were unsafe by definition. This heightened stigma around the sexual acts of queer people.

 

 

 

The new “Healthysexual” campaign, launched in 2016, says the term “safe sex” has outlived its use, and that it further perpetuates fearing and judging people based on their chosen sexual activities. While the concept of “safety” is, correctly, bound to pregnancy prevention, condom usage, and HIV/AIDS awareness, this new positive and upbeat campaign puts the focus on how following those guidelines makes a person more or less healthy, not more or less safe.

 

WebMD Slideshow: Cleaning Up After Sex

Planned Parenthood: Safer Sex

Penis Song by Monty Python

Outercourse: Non-Penetrative Sex

Condoms and Birth Control

Wikipedia: Safe Sex Defined

Info: Safe Sex

WebMD: Preventing STDs with Safe Sex

HIV Equal: 7 Different Ways to Have Safe Sex

Better Health: Safe Sex

 

Good, Giving, and Game

 

What does GGG mean? It is an abbreviation for “Good, Giving, and Game.” The acronym refers to the advice that those seeking healthy sexual relationships should strive to be...  Good in bed...   Willing to give equal time and energy to their partner's pleasure...   And game for anything (within reason). GGG is a term coined by sex columnist Dan Savage to represent the qualities that he thinks makes a good sexual partner.

 

We know from related research that people who are more motivated to respond to their partner’s needs (high in communal strength) report higher relationship satisfaction and feel more intrinsic joy after making a sacrifice for their partner. A recent study explored whether being motivated to meet your partner’s sexual needs is good for yourself. This motivation was termed sexual communal strength -- the desire or willingness to meet a partner’s sexual needs, even when different from your own preferences. When people we asked what this meant to them, they provided several examples including: having sex with your partner when you're not entirely in the mood, pursuing sexual activities that your partner enjoys even if they are not your favorite, and taking strides to understand and meet your partner’s sexual fantasies.

 

 

Here are a few items used to measure people’s levels of sexual communal strength:

-How far would you be willing to go to meet your partner's sexual needs?
-How high a priority for you is meeting the sexual needs of your partner?
-How likely are you to sacrifice your own needs to meet the sexual needs of your partner?
-How happy do you feel when satisfying your partner's sexual needs?
 

In a sample of long-term couples, it was found that people who were higher in sexual communal strength reported higher levels of daily sexual desire and were more likely to maintain their desire over time. People who began the study with high sexual communal strength maintained desire over a 4-month period, whereas those who started off low in sexual communal strength saw a decline in their sexual desire.

So, there are benefits to being "Good, Giving, and Game" (GGG). The motivation to meet a partner’s sexual needs can be good for the self and can help keep the spark alive in long-term relationships.

 

 

 

Healthy Sexuality

Dan Savage: Savage Love

Info: Safe Sex

Mind-blowing Lesbian Sex Positions

Erogenous Zones Defined and Explained

Intimate Relationship

TED Talk: Is Casual Sex Bad For You?

What's the Difference: Fucking vs Making Love

Healthy Sexual Tumblr Page

Vagina Song by Lewberger
YouTube Channel: Healthy Sexual

Things We Get Wrong About Sex

Sex Doesn't Always Have to Be So Serious

 

Kissing


Kissing is to touch with the lips is an expression of love, affection, sexual desire, reverence, respect, or greeting. Typically a mouth-to-mouth activity, two people will press their lips to each other, slightly pursed, and then part them, emitting a smacking sound.


Why do we kiss on the lips? Your lips have more nerve endings than any other part of your body. When you press them against another set of lips or even warm skin, it feels good. Along with the oxytocin and dopamine that make you feel affection and euphoria, kissing releases serotonin, another feel-good chemical. But, of course, you can use your lips to kiss things other than lips.

 

Types of kisses include: romantic kiss, friendship kiss, familial kiss, ritual kiss. There are religious kisses or kisses of peace. Lighter forms of kissing might include: peck (quick smooch), air kiss, hand kiss, cheek kiss, forehead kiss, Eskimo kiss, butterfly kiss. Heavy kissing is typically described as a slow, deep, prolonged, passionate kiss which is considered intimate, romantic, seductive, erotic or sexual. Among romantic kisses (those that occur between lovers), types include: neck kiss, earlobe kiss (nibble), lip kiss (close-mouthed), lip kiss (open-mouthed), body kiss, wet kiss, bite kiss, French kiss (using tongue).

 

Types of Kisses

Kiss Defined

Different Ways to Kiss

Romantic Kisses

Mouth to Mouth Activity

French Kiss Explained
 


 

Kissing Strangers: Who's the Best Kisser 1

Kissing Strangers: Who's the Best Kisser 2

Kissing Strangers: Who's the Best Kisser 3

Kissing Strangers: Who's the Best Kisser 4

 

Common Sexual Terms

 

Sex is a topic that is quite popular to talk about among friends, whether in a funny, sarcastic way, or in serious conversation when talking about one’s relationship.  Learning about idioms and slang for sexual terms helps your understanding of sex as an everyday topic that often comes up in popular culture, and media.  More often than not, we use sexual innuendos (suggestive terms) rather than the more literal terms that you might already know.

 

 

--Have Sex - Most common, formal, and appropriate term to use

--Make Love – Polite, common term, but is usually used when you are in a relationship (that is, to have sex with a girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband)

--Sleep Together (Go to Bed) – Polite, appropriate and ambiguous but doesn’t necessarily mean that two people have sex, but most people will assume that if you say you slept with someone there wasn’t actually much sleeping

--Coitus – Formal term, sounds technical or clinical

--Copulation – Formal term, sounds technical or clinical

--Fornicate - Sounds biblical and judgmental, sometimes used comically

 

[Source: Real Life Global]

 

Why Do People Have Sex?

Dan Savage: Savage Love

Web MD: Reasons People Have Sex

Orgasms: Real or Fake?

Psychology Today: Reasons People Have Sex

Nine Myths About Sex

Strangers Kissing Each Other for the First Time

Ultimate Ranking of Common Sex Positions

Alternative Orgasms: New Ways to Hit the Spot

Touch by Shura

 

 

Archaic Sex Terms

Here are some slang terms for sex from the 16th-19th centuries...
-Fadoodling
-Horizontal Refreshment
-Shot Twixt Wind and Water
-Play at Couch Quail
-Join Giblets
-Have Your Corn Ground
-Ride a Dragon Upon St. George

 

Queer YouTubers: Losing Your Virginity

Psychology Today: Are You GGG?

Top, Bottom, Vers

Video Advice: Importance of Kissing

What's the Difference: Fucking vs Making Love

Erogenous Zones Defined and Explained

Cute Song: Enormous Penis

Most Popular Sex Positions

Surprising Sex Stats

TED Talk: Is Casual Sex Bad For You?

Let's Talk About Anal Sex

 

 

Outercourse vs. Intercourse

 

Outercourse is other sexual activities besides vaginal sex. Sexual abstinence and outercourse can mean different things to different people.

Non-penetrative sex or outercourse is sexual activity that usually does not include sexual penetration. It generally excludes the penetrative aspects of vaginal, anal, or oral sexual activity, but includes various forms of sexual and non-sexual activity, such as frottage, mutual masturbation, kissing, or cuddling. Some forms of non-penetrative sex, particularly when termed outercourse, include penetrative aspects, such as penetration that may result from forms of fingering or oral sex.

People engage in non-penetrative sex for a variety of reasons, including as a form of foreplay or as a primary or preferred sexual act. Heterosexual couples may engage in non-penetrative sex as an alternative to penile-vaginal penetration, to preserve virginity, or as a type of birth control. Same-sex couples may also engage in non-penetrative sex to preserve virginity, with gay males using it as an alternative to anal penetration.

Although sexually transmitted infections (STIs/STDs) such as herpes, HPV, and pubic lice can be transmitted through non-penetrative genital-genital or genital-body sexual activity, non-penetrative sex may be used as a form of safer sex because it is less likely that body fluids (the main source of STI/STD transmission) will be exchanged during the activities, especially with regard to aspects that are exclusively non-penetrative.
 

Abstinence and Outercourse

Overview of Outercourse Sexual Activity

Outercourse Techniques

Questions About Outercourse

Outercourse: Non-Penetrative Sex

Joys of Gay Sex: Non-Penetrative Options

 

 

Variety of Sexual Activity

 

There are many ways that everyone (lesbian, gay, bisexual, heterosexual) can have sex with a partner, including kissing, masturbation, erotic massage, body rubbing, fantasy, and using sex toys for clitoral, anal, or vaginal stimulation. Many people also enjoy oral sex, which is when someone uses her or his mouth to stimulate a partner’s genitals.

 

Everyone is different when it comes to what they enjoy sexually. People have various likes and dislikes and only you will know what feels good for you.

 

 

 

Women don’t need to worry about getting pregnant when they have sex with other women, but they do need to protect themselves against sexually transmitted infections. While transmission rates are lower for women who have sex with women, it’s still possible for lesbians to acquire and transmit infections.

 

Women can reduce the risk of infection the same way straight people can (through safer sex, including lower-risk behaviors and the use of latex barriers) like using dental dams for oral sex, and condoms on sex toys.

 

What Gay Men Really Do in Bed

How Do Lesbians Have Sex?

Mind-blowing Lesbian Sex Positions

Myths and Lies About Sex

TED Talk: Unsexy Truth of Hookup Culture

Ultimate Ranking of Common Sex Positions

150 Sex Acts

Video: Gay Couple Tries Every Kiss in the World

Things We Get Wrong About Sex

Outercourse: Non-Penetrative Sex

Surprising Sex Stats

What Does It Mean to Be a Top, Bottom, or Vers?

Most Popular Sex Positions

Let's Talk About Gay Sex

Jess and Emily: How Lesbians Do It

Scarleteen: Sex Ed For The Real World

Why Do People Have Sex?

 

Favorite Sex Positions

 

Online doctor site Dr. Ed surveyed 2,000 people in Europe and the US on their favorite sex positions, and which ones they want to try the most.

 

Overall, more than a third said doggy style was their favorite. Missionary came in second at 23 percent, followed by cowgirl at 19 per cent. The sixty-nine position came in at 4 percent, and spooning came in just behind it. Also in the top ten were anal, oral and “tabletop”. 

 

 

And when it comes to geography, there are some differences in people’s favorite positions. Doggy style came in at number one in the UK, US, Germany, Romania, Spain, France and Austria. The Polish prefer spooning, the Netherlands prefers missionary, while Belgium, Switzerland and Italy like the cowgirl position the best.

 

When it comes to the positions people want to try, tabletop came in at number one, followed by sixty-nine, kneeling wheelbarrow and anal.

 

[Source: Indy 100, Jan 2017]

 

 

Sexual Positions Described

 

--Missionary – Two people lying down, face to face, one person on top of other person

--Saddling – Legs wrapped around the torso, sitting face to face

--Scissors/Scissoring - Open-legged, genital to genital

--Doggy Style – One person on all fours, other person from behind

--Table Top - One person on table (or bed), other person standing

--Spooning – Nestling, from behind, facing same direction, side by side, knees drawn up

--Cowgirl/Cowboy – Bottom person lying face up, straddled by top person sitting upright facing forward

--Reverse Cowgirl/Cowboy - Bottom person lying face up, straddled by top person sitting upright facing backward

--Sixty Nine – Mutual oral sex, inverted alignment of mouth and genitals

 

[Source: BuzzFeed]

 

Sex for Dummies: Basic Sexual Positions Cheat Sheet

Cosmopolitan: Complete Guide to Scissoring

Info: Lust and Libido

Music Video: Missionary Position

Cute Song: Enormous Penis

Mind-blowing Lesbian Sex Positions

Sex Info 101: Sex Positions Guide

Video: The Fear of Being Bad in Bed

150 Sex Acts

Best Gay Sex Positions

What Does It Mean to Be a Top, Bottom, or Vers?

Cosmopolitan: Lesbians Sex Positions

Touch by Shura

Sex Positions for Women Who Sleep with Women

 

 

Missionary Position

 

When one first ventures into sexual activity, it can be daunting to hear about things like the Kama Sutra and tantric sex. In reality, the basic sexual positions work just fine for most couples. There is no “right way” to have sex. No single position is more moral or normal than another is. If you enjoy one position, that’s great. If not, then try something else.


The missionary position, for a straight couple, is no more than the male-superior position; that is, the man on top, the woman on the bottom. Otherwise, more generally defined, it is
two people lying down, face to face, one person on top of the other person.

It is pretty much unique to humans, and therefore differentiates us from animals. It puts partners face-to-face during sex. With this position, you can remain under the covers and still enjoy intercourse.

 

 

Sixty Nine

 

Sixty Nine or 69 can be described as mutual oral sex. The French call it soixante-neuf. The Kama Sutra calls it the congress of a crow ("bodies inverted, the two lovers grasp each others' sex organs with their mouths experiencing great heights of ecstasy"). It has also been called sexual yin yang.

 

It is a sex position (or variety of sex positions) in which two people align themselves so that each person's mouth is near the other's genitals, facing in opposite directions, each simultaneously performing oral sex on the other. The participants are thus mutually inverted like the numerals 6 and 9.

 

This position can involve a male and a female, resulting in a fellatio/cunnilingus combination. Or it can involve two males or two females, resulting in a double fellatio, double cunnilingus, or double analingus configuration.

 

Defined: Sixty-Nine Sex Position

Cosmopolitan: Defining Sixty-Nine

Men's Health: Variations on the 69 Sex Position

Complaints About the Sixty-Nine Sex Position

Women's Health: Making the 69 Sex Position Better

Cosmopolitan: Lesbian 69 Sex Tips

 

 

Variety of Sexual Positions

 

While we're all unique sexual beings, there's one thing most of us apparently just can't get enough of.  And that would be doggy style.

 

According to a survey of 2,000 people from the US and the UK, more than 35 percent of people said that doggy style (intercourse from the rear position) was their preferred go-to position followed by missionary (face to face) and cowgirl (girl on top).

 

Though both men and women agreed that doggy style is the best, women's second favorite sex move was missionary. For dudes, the number-two slot was taken by the cowgirl position.

 

Men were also more likely to say they wanted to try anal sex. They ranked it as the second position guys wanted to try, right behind sixty-nine (69). However, backdoor action (anal sex) didn't even make the list of top 10 positions women wanted to try.

 

But it's not like the women surveyed weren't into adventurous sex experiences. At the top of ladies to-do list: tabletop (also known as sex on a table), kneeling wheelbarrow, and sixty-nine (69).

 

[Source: Women's Health]

 

 

About Sex Toys

 

Dildo - Sex toy, often explicitly phallic in appearance (erect penis), intended for sexual penetration or other sexual activity during masturbation or with sex partners.

 

Vibrator - Electric-powered (or battery-powered) dildos, which pulsate or throb, used for masturbation and sexual pleasure. Sometimes described as a massager, it is a sex toy that is used on the body to produce pleasurable sexual stimulation. Vibrators can be applied to erogenous zones, such as the clitoris, the vulva or vagina, penis, scrotum or anus, for sexual stimulation to achieve orgasm.
 

Strap On - Artificial penis designed to be worn by a woman, usually with a harness, during sexual activity. Typically, the device resembles a wearable dildo that can be used for a wide variety of sexual activities, including vaginal sex or anal sex.  It can be used by couples consisting of two women or a man and a woman.

 

Pegging - Sexual practice in which a woman performs anal sex on a man by penetrating his anus with a strap-on dildo.

 

Anal Sex Toys - Devices intended for penetration of the anus for sexual pleasure. Variations include dildos, plugs, balls, and beads.

 

Strap On Dildo Explained

Dildo Explained

Let's Talk About Sex Toys
Best Sex Toys for Beginners

How to Properly Use a Dildo

Vibrator Explained

Pegging Explained

Beginner's Guide to Pegging

 

 

Masturbation

 

Self-love, solo sex, sexual solitaire, bating, ménage à moi, jacking off, jilling off, whacking off, paddling the pink canoe, pocket pinball, teasing the kitty, testing the plumbing, fingerbating, jerkin’ the gherkin, spanking the monkey, soaking the whisker biscuit, surfing the channel.

 

No matter what you call it, masturbation is one of the few things that almost everyone does, has done or will do. About as many people masturbate as people who play video games, and there are more people who masturbate than people who have computers at home or who own cars. In surveys and studies, as many as 95 percent of all people report that they masturbate or have done so.

 

Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm. The stimulation may involve hands, fingers, everyday objects, sex toys such as vibrators, or combinations of these. Manual stimulation of a partner, such as fingering, a handjob or mutual masturbation, is a common sexual act and can be a substitute for penetration.

 

 

There’s nothing wrong with masturbation, and it’s even clearly good for you in some ways. Most doctors and medical organizations, counselors, sex therapists, and sex educators agree: for our sense of relief, well-being, relaxation, and health. Our sexuality with or without partners, developing a means for sexual communication, getting familiar with our own sexual response cycle and preferences, and finding out where all our parts are, how they work and some of what we like and how we like it, masturbation is the bomb. It is totally normal to masturbate (touch yourself for sexual pleasure) whether you’re sexually active with other people or not. Masturbation even has health benefits, like reducing stress.

Studies have found that masturbation is frequent in humans of both sexes and all ages, although there is variation. Various medical and psychological benefits have been attributed to a healthy attitude toward sexual activity in general and to masturbation in particular. No causal relationship is known between masturbation and any form of mental or physical disorder.


 

Do most people masturbate? Lots of people masturbate! Even if they don't talk about it, it’s common for people of any gender or age to do it. Even before puberty, children sometimes discover that touching their genitals feels good. If you have kids and notice them touching their genitals, let them know that masturbating is completely normal, but something they should do in private.

People masturbate for different reasons. It helps them relax, they want to understand their body better, they want to release sexual tension, or their partner isn’t around. But most people masturbate because it feels good. Many people think that masturbation is only something you do when you don’t have a sex partner. But both single people and people in relationships masturbate.

Some people masturbate often, others rarely, and some people don’t masturbate at all. Different people masturbate in different ways, for different reasons. Masturbation is a totally personal decision, and there’s no “normal” way to go about it.

 

 

Autosexual

 

The term "autosexual" is associated with the act of masturbation or the person engaged in it. An autosexual is a person who has sex with himself or herself.  An autosexual is one who is intimate with, aroused by, or causes arousal to, his or her own body.

 

An autosexual is someone who has sexual attraction to oneself, especially a preference for masturbation over sexual intercourse. Experiencing romantic feelings towards oneself is called "autoromantic." Masturbation is an autosexual activity. The word autosexual (along with a parallel term, "autoeroticism") is found by the early 1900s as a term for sexual self-stimulation, specifically masturbation.
 

Masturbation Facts

TED Talk: Masturbation Myths

Masturbating Everyday

Going Solo: Basics of Masturbation

Masturbation Information

TED Talk: Truth About Masturbation

Male Masturbation: Medical Note

Female Masturbation: Medical Notes

Masturbation: Any Side Effects?

Cosmo Guide to Solo Sex

 

Bathhouse Culture

 

A gay bathhouse, also known as a gay sauna or a gay steambath, or a gay spa, is a public bath targeted towards gay and bisexual men. In gay slang, a bathhouse may be called just "the baths", "the sauna", or "the tubs". Historically they have been used for sexual activity.

Bathhouses vary considerably in size and amenities—from small establishments with 10 or 20 rooms and a handful of lockers to multi-story saunas with a variety of room styles or sizes and several steam baths, hot tubs, and sometimes swimming pools. Most have a steam room (or wet sauna), dry sauna, showers, lockers, and small private rooms.

 



In many countries, bathhouses are "membership only" (for legal reasons); though membership is generally open to any adult who seeks it, usually after paying a small fee. Unlike brothels, customers pay only for the use of the facilities. Sexual activity, if it occurs, is not provided by staff of the establishment, but is between customers with no money exchanged. Many gay bathhouses, for legal reasons, explicitly prohibit and/or discourage prostitution and ban known prostitutes.

Records of men meeting for sex with other men in bathhouses date back to the 15th century. A tradition of public baths dates back to the 6th century BCE, and there are many ancient records of homosexual activity in Greece. In the West, gay men have been using bathhouses for sex since at least the late 19th and early 20th centuries, a time when homosexual acts were illegal in most Western countries and men who were caught engaging in homosexual acts were often arrested and publicly humiliated. Men began frequenting cruising areas such as bathhouses, public parks, alleys, train and bus stations, adult theaters, public lavatories (cottages or tearooms), and gym changing rooms where they could meet other men for sex. Some bathhouse owners tried to prevent sex among patrons while others, mindful of profits or prepared to risk prosecution, overlooked discreet homosexual activity.
 

Short History of Gay Bathhouses
What is a Gay Bathhouse

Bathhouse Tips for First-Timers

 

Ancient Roots

 

Aphrodite is a well-known ancient Greek goddess associated with love, affection, desire, beauty, pleasure, passion, fertility, and sex. She was physically stunning but also wore a magic girdle that made everyone fall in love with her. She represented all manner of erotic and carnal attraction.  She was also the patron goddess of prostitutes. Her Roman counterpart was the goddess Venus. The Greek male deity of love, passion and sex was Eros. His Roman counterpart was Cupid.

Aphrodite (Venus) was known for her remarkable beauty and artistic representations of her always show a stunning young woman. She is usually dressed in elegant clothing and wearing golden jewelry. She had long, wavy hair and a voluptuous figure. If Apollo represented the ideal of the perfect male body to the Greeks, Aphrodite was certainly his most appropriate female counterpart. Beautiful and enchanting, she was frequently depicted nude, as a symmetrically perfect maiden, infinitely desirable and as infinitely out of reach.

 



Aphrodite's symbols include myrtles, roses, doves, sparrows, and swans. There are three main symbols associated with her that include the girdle, the seashell and the mirror. It is speculated that the biological female gender symbol is a tribute to Aphrodite. The circle on top is said to represent the mirror while the lower half is meant to be the handle.

 

Aphrodite Explained

Mythology: Aphrodite

Aphrodite Info

Beautiful Facts About Aphrodite

 

Kama Sutra

 

The Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian Hindu text written by Mallanaga Vātsyāyana. It is believed to have been composed between 400 BCE and 200 CE. It is widely considered to be the standard work on human sexual behavior in Sanskrit literature. A portion of the work consists of practical advice on sexual intercourse.

 

 

While the Kama Sutra is not exclusively a sex manual, it is presumed or depicted as a synonym for creative sexual positions. It presents itself as a guide to a virtuous and gracious living that discusses the nature of love, family life, and other aspects pertaining to pleasure-oriented faculties of human life. The majority of the book is about the philosophy and theory of love, what triggers desire, what sustains it, and how and when it is good or bad.

 

The popular content of the Kama Sutra relates to amorous advances and sexual union, which devotes ten chapters to stimulation of desire, types of embraces, caressing and kisses, marking with nails, biting and marking with teeth, on copulation (positions), slapping by hand and corresponding moaning, virile behavior in women, superior coition and oral sex, preludes and conclusions to the game of love. It describes 64 types of sexual acts.

 

Gay Kama Sutra

Lesbian Kama Sutra

 

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