Queer Cafe

BODY IMAGE

How Body Shaming and Body Dysmorphia Affect the Gay Community
Belly Kisses by Rachel Wiley
Ways to Deal with Body Shaming
Why Body Image Issues Pervade the Gay Community

Fatphobia is Alive and Rampant in the Gay Male Community
Body Image, Sexual Orientation, and Gender Identity
Study Proves Gay Men Fat Shame One Another

Sam Smith Unapologetically Speaks on Body Dysmorphia Amidst Recent Fat Shaming
Comments About Sam Smith's Sequined Jumpsuit Show Body Shaming Is Still an Unfortunate Reality
Lizzo on Body-Shaming Comments on Social Media

If Sam Smith Was Thin, Cis And Straight, They Wouldn’t Be Ridiculed

Sam Smith Opens Up About Overcoming Body Dysmorphia
Amy Schumer Talks Fat-Shaming, Hits Back at Body Critics

Jameela Jamil Defends Sam Smith After the Singer was Body-Shamed
Sam Smith Photo Incited a Body-Shaming Debate on Gay Twitter
Ariel Winter Responds to Body-Shaming Comments on Instagram
Lizzo Addresses Fat-Shaming Comments

Sam Smith Opens Up About Overcoming Body Dysmorphia

Sam Smith has been on quite the journey. Alongside their music career, the singer has been on a quest of self-discovery, leading them to feel happier and more fulfilled than ever before. Since coming out as nonbinary in 2019 and announcing their change of pronouns, the "Unholy" singer has overcome body dysmorphia and finally feels comfortable in their skin.

"My mum says that, as I've got older, I've stopped caring what people think as much. She tends to be right," they told The Sunday Times in a January 2022 interview. Smith has come such a long way. Where once, they would struggle to take their top off at the swimming pool and dealt with body-image issues in school, they now appear topless on the cover of their latest album, "Gloria," and star in the video of their new track "I'm Not Here to Make Friends" wearing a corset, bejeweled pants, and nipple pasties.

"Within my industry there is definitely that question of, 'What should a pop star look like?" they said. "When I was 25 I came off tour exhausted. I looked to role models in the body world. Every time I went to the pool I felt self-conscious, but I forced myself to take my top off. It paid off because I now have the opposite of body dysmorphia. I look fabulous. I'm finally getting a tan. I'm burnt in places I've never been burnt."

Sam Smith Unapologetically Speaks on Body Dysmorphia Amidst Recent Fat Shaming
Comments About Sam Smith's Sequined Jumpsuit Show Body Shaming Is Still an Unfortunate Reality
If Sam Smith Was Thin, Cis And Straight, They Wouldn’t Be Ridiculed

Sam Smith Opens Up About Overcoming Body Dysmorphia
Jameela Jamil Defends Sam Smith After the Singer was Body-Shamed
Sam Smith Photo Incited a Body-Shaming Debate on Gay Twitter

According to the National Health Service of England, body dysmorphia is "a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others." Therapy, support groups, or antidepressants are often suggested to help those with the condition.

Smith has previously spoken of their image struggles, telling The Times in 2020: "For me, what triggered everything was the work I was doing with my body issues. I always had body dysmorphia. As I started to address that, I started to address my gender and realized that I was holding myself to these ideals of how a man should look." Smith sought therapy and credits it with making them realize there were many layers to their feelings. "I have girl thighs and I have girl breasts too. It started to awaken this conversation that had always been in the back of my mind."

While Smith has learned to love their body, they are still faced with cruel comments from others online. Most recently, they wore a fabulous sequined Valentino jumpsuit to the Capital Jingle Bell Ball in December 2022, a similar getup to Harry Styles's onstage looks. Yet while Styles was met with praise, Smith was met with abusive body-shaming comments. "All I can say is that I looked fabulous," they said, laughing.

With the 2023 Brits Awards on the horizon, Smith added their disappointment at the lack of inclusion at the award show. After campaigning for gender-neutral categories, the Brits changed its awards in 2022, but it has faced criticism this year for failing to nominate a single woman in the artist of the year category. "It is a shame," Smith agreed in the most recent interview with The Sunday Times. "Things are moving forward, but it's obvious it's not there yet. From seeing that best artist list, there is still a long way to go."

As Smith prepares to perform at the Brits and the Grammys, it's clear they feel more authentic, confident, and powerful in their body. "Writing sad songs used to be easy, while leaning into joy was tough. I'm happier in my own skin on Gloria. I feel liberated, released from pressures I felt when I was young," the 30-year-old explained. Yet they are keen to point out that self-discovery never stops. "I get closer to who I am with each album," the singer said. "But I never want to get there." For our sake, we hope there are many more Smith eras to come.

[Source: Joely Chilcott, Pop Sugar, February 2023]

The LGBTQ Body Image Problem

Queen: Fat Bottomed Girls

How Body Shaming and Body Dysmorphia Affect the Gay Community
Sam Smith Unapologetically Speaks on Body Dysmorphia Amidst Recent Fat Shaming
Comments About Sam Smith's Sequined Jumpsuit Show Body Shaming Is Still an Unfortunate Reality
Ways to Deal with Body Shaming
Sam Smith Opens Up About Overcoming Body Dysmorphia
Why Body Image Issues Pervade the Gay Community

For Shame, Body Shamers!

No Fats, No Fems: Everything That's Wrong With the Gay Community

Study That Proves Gay Men Fat Shame One Another

If you self-identify as a gay, bisexual and/or otherwise queer man, you've probably experienced, witnessed or perpetrated some form of fat shaming. A recent study in Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity refers to this as the more scientific-sounding "anti-fat bias."

A report entitled, "Fat Chance! Experiences and Expectations of Anti-fat Bias in the Gay Male Community," used two studies to explore just how anti-fat gay men are, because simply logging into Grindr doesn't carry quite the same professional heft.

The first study found that out of 215 gay men, age 18 to 78, over one third of them had directly experienced anti-fat bias, even though most of them were not overweight using common body mass index guidelines. These men also reported that the most common form of anti-fat bias they received was from potential romantic partners, which was associated with several types of body image disturbance.

The second study compared the expectations of anti-fat bias among gay and straight college men. These 'mos and bros rated the likelihood of certain outcomes if they saw an overweight man hit on an attractive target. Basically, if they saw a fat guy hitting on someone out of his league, what would they expect to happen?

Gay men reported greater likelihood that the overweight man would be blatantly ignored, treated rudely, or mocked behind his back if he approached an attractive potential romantic partner.

The shade of it all. So not only do gay men face anti-fat bias, regardless of actual weight, we also expect our peers to exhibit the same kind of behavior in our pursuit of love, or what have you. The results aren't surprising, which is perhaps the worst part of this study. It only confirms what so many of us have experienced and further illustrates a problem that it seems has plagued gay men for as long as anything resembling a gay community has existed. A problem that is exacerbated by the media and perpetuated by hookup culture.

There's no simple solution to fixing generations of this anti-fat bias. The idolization of the male body has always been part and parcel of gay culture. But that's why we have bears. And otters and cubs. And others in this sexual menagerie that reject and subvert the idea of the ideal body.

One simple solution we can all do, however, is to stop broadcasting ignorance and prejudice, like, if you're filling out a dating profile maybe, I dunno, leave out the "no fats, femmes" bullshit. Just a thought. Oh, and don't fuck with others who use that kind of language. You know, gay it forward, be the change you want to see in the world.

[Source: Les Fabian Brathwaite, Out Magazine, Feb 2016]

Physical Fitness vs. Body Shaming

Fatphobia is Alive and Rampant in the Gay Male Community
Jameela Jamil Defends Sam Smith After the Singer was Body-Shamed
Body Image, Sexual Orientation, and Gender Identity
Sam Smith Photo Incited a Body-Shaming Debate on Gay Twitter
Study Proves Gay Men Fat Shame One Another
Grindr Users Share Their Experiences of Body Shaming
Don't Let Body Shame Keep You From Celebrating Pride
Belly Kisses by Rachel Wiley

The LGBTQ Body Image Problem

People in the LGBTQ community, through the combination of low self-esteem and stressful life experiences, are some of the most at-risk to develop mental health and eating disorders. Research by the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) has shown that teenagers who identified as gay, lesbian or bisexual may be at higher risk of binge-eating and purging than heterosexual peers.

We know about the common stressors that impact young people who decide to come out, such as bullying, harassment, rejection and isolation. With the emergence of social media though, a new layer has built up. LGBTQ people are more likely to suffer from stress and anxiety because of their body image, with a particularly worrying proportion of bisexuals experiencing suicidal thoughts.

Social media can affect the lives of young people in many ways. The rupture of traditional social boundaries and support circles has intensified and complicated the daily lives of millions of young people. This usually means conjuring up multiple sets of identities for different audiences, negotiating online personas by only disclosing the level of information one is comfortable with, and a blurred overlap of public and private life. This phenomenon is referred to as context collapse: the process of the construction of a private self that is revealed to some people and a public self that is assumed to be available to anyone, regardless of context.

The implications for the LGBTQ community

A common theme among sexual minority men is the pressure to present an appearance of slim and athletic which can have a negative bearing on their emotional health and develop eating disorder. Research by The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) reveals that gay and bisexual boys report being significantly more likely to have fasted, vomited, or taken laxatives or diet pills to control their weight in the last 30 days.

The newly-published report from the Mental Health Foundation refers to the ‘minority stress’ which comes from the stigma and prejudice encountered by the LGBTQ community may be “linked to body image”: “For young men who have sex with men, one study found that internalized negative attitudes towards homosexuality and sexual orientation predicted overall body dissatisfaction, muscularity dissatisfaction and body fat dissatisfaction.”

The most common symptoms range from low self-esteem to depression and self-harm, including embarrassment, bad eating habits and problems sustaining relationships with other people.

The good news is that the attitudes are improving and that there is advice and useful information available online to learn to improve our relationships with our bodies via exercises, mindfulness and new outlooks on life. Here are some examples of ways you can thing more positively about your body:

--Acknowledge your body’s faults instead of ignoring or hiding them, you may even get to like them
--Appreciate that your body has carried you all your life and does wonderful things that most of us fail to notice
--Learn to appreciate different bodies or types of bodies on social media and in the media
--Reflect on the moments when you criticize yourself and decide if this was worth it or if you could have taken some positives
--Take interesting pictures of yourself that show your body is amazing
--Ask friends who have similar body image issues for advice and pay attention to other people’s voices when they congratulate you
--Refrain form a binary approach to evaluating your own body (and others'); be more flexible than 'attractive' or 'ugly', move away from labels and focus on features individually
--Learn to consider that good health and a perfect body are different things

[Source: Turning Point]

The LGBTQ Body Image Problem

How Body Shaming and Body Dysmorphia Affect the Gay Community
Sam Smith Unapologetically Speaks on Body Dysmorphia Amidst Recent Fat Shaming
Queen: Fat Bottomed Girls

Comments About Sam Smith's Sequined Jumpsuit Show Body Shaming Is Still an Unfortunate Reality
Ways to Deal with Body Shaming
Sam Smith Opens Up About Overcoming Body Dysmorphia
Why Body Image Issues Pervade the Gay Community

For Shame, Body Shamers!

Fatphobia is Alive and Rampant in the Gay Male Community

Fatphobia and weight stigma are unfortunately rampant in among gay men, in which many men experience fat-shaming, discrimination, harmful comments, and exclusion, causing a toxic environment that often ostracizes its own community members. Fatphobia can negatively affect a person’s mental and physical health, increasing their risk for eating disorders.

What is fatphobia and what are its consequences?

Fatphobia is defined as an intense hatred or fear of people living in larger bodies. It’s extremely prevalent and insidious, apparent in a variety of settings, from healthcare, the work place, transportation, social gatherings, and dating.

Fatphobia has far-reaching consequences for fat people, a term that’s been reclaimed by those living in higher-weight bodies. It leads to weight stigma, weight-based discrimination, and fat-shaming, as well as a host of other negative effects, including:

--Body dissatisfaction
--Depression
--Psychological stress
--Poor self-esteem
--Poor body image
--Disordered eating

Fatphobia is responsible for negative stereotypes about fat people, as well as the view that they are unhealthy, and these attitudes and beliefs can be seen in the gay and queer men community, causing many men to feel excluded and ostracized.

If Sam Smith Was Thin, Cis And Straight, They Wouldn’t Be Ridiculed

Sam Smith Opens Up About Overcoming Body Dysmorphia
Amy Schumer Talks Fat-Shaming, Hits Back at Body Critics

Gay men, fatphobia, and toxic masculinity

Although many gay men want to believe in the inclusivity of their community, the sad fact is that gay men can be very exclusionary, toxic, and fatphobic. Gay men often deal with immense pressure to obtain the “ideal” masculine body, namely, a lean and muscular build, and that pressure is compounded by hookup apps like Grindr in which men list their thinly-veiled prejudices as “preferences,” such as “no fats” and “no femmes.”

While fatphobia in the gay men community is certainly caused by our society’s harmful attitudes related to body image and attractiveness, it may also be a product of toxic masculinity and misogyny. Many men equate fatness with femininity, thus “No Fats” and “No Femmes” often being linked on hookup apps.

This creates a culture of exclusion for queer men living in larger or higher-weight bodies who don’t feel welcome in their own community, creating further insecurity, body dissatisfaction, poor self-esteem, and feelings of rejection.

One study found that more than 33% of gay men, most of whom were not overweight according to BMI standards, reported experiencing fatphobia. And the most common type of weight stigma experienced was rejection from potential romantic partners due to weight.

A follow-up study on fatphobic attitudes from potential romantic partners found that when compared to straight, fat men approaching women, gay men in higher-weight bodies were more likely to be treated rudely, mocked, or blatantly ignored when approaching men deemed attractive by societal standards. This study shows how many gay men experience negative consequences of fatphobia, because they may not meet the impossible standards gay men set for one another.

Eating disorders in gay men

Fatphobia in the gay community can have dangerous consequences, including increased rates of eating disorders among gay men. Research has shown that gay men are more likely to have eating disorders than their straight counterparts. One study found that 14% of gay men had a current or previous eating disorder, such as anorexia nerovsa (AN) or bulimia nervosa (BN), and an additional 50% reported significant risk factors for eating disorder development.

Research also indicates that compared to straight men, gay men:

--Report less control related to eating
--Engage in more binge eating episodes
--Engage in more frequent dieting
--Engage in more purging behaviors
--Exercise more often

This is true of gay adolescents and young adults as well, who are more likely to engage in compulsive exercise, caloric restriction, binging, purging, fasting, and diet pill use. It was also found that these gay teens were more likely to experience a decrease in weight from adolescence to young adulthood.

Physical Fitness vs. Body Shaming

Fatphobia is Alive and Rampant in the Gay Male Community
Queen: Fat Bottomed Girls

Jameela Jamil Defends Sam Smith After the Singer was Body-Shamed
Body Image, Sexual Orientation, and Gender Identity
Sam Smith Photo Incited a Body-Shaming Debate on Gay Twitter
Study Proves Gay Men Fat Shame One Another
Grindr Users Share Their Experiences of Body Shaming
Don't Let Body Shame Keep You From Celebrating Pride
Belly Kisses by Rachel Wiley

Eating disorder risk factors for gay men community

Risk factors are biological, sociological, or psychological influences that increase the likelihood of developing a mental health condition like an eating disorder. Gay men have been shown to experience the following risk factors at higher rates than heterosexual men:

--Drive for muscularity and thinness
--Body shape worries
--Weight concerns
--Eating concerns
--Poor body image
--Body image anxiety
--Internalization of “ideal” body type
--Susceptibility to advertising and marketing related to appearance
--Frequency of talking about appearance

One study found that 63% of gay men based their self-worth on their weight and appearance, while about 50% experienced dissatisfaction with their eating behaviors.

Additionally, gay men report a higher disparity between their current body shape and the body shape they think they need to obtain in order to attract a partner. And this disparity can lead to anxiety about weight, shape, and eating behaviors, including disordered eating behaviors. This research suggests that beliefs related to partner preferences can contribute to disordered eating and subsequent eating disorders in gay men.

Compared to their straight peers, gay adolescents and teens experience:

--Increased desire for toned muscles
--Higher rates of body dissatisfaction
--Greater increase in shape and weight concern as they got older
--Increased desire to resemble men in the media
--Increased focus on being lean

Other factors, such as experiencing peer pressure, living in a higher-weight body, and perceived lower levels of masculinity, lead to increases in body dissatisfaction, which can then cause disordered eating behaviors.

The LGBTQ Body Image Problem

For Shame, Body Shamers!

No Fats, No Fems: Everything That's Wrong With the Gay Community

Risk factors related to sexuality and gender expression

Researchers have found several risk factors that are specific to a gay man’s sexual orientation and gender presentation, including:

--Ambivalence about queerness
--Preoccupation with how others view their sexual orientation
--Attending a gay-specific recreational group
--Viewing pornography (however, this does not mean pornography is bad or harmful; it simply exposes gay men to “ideal” men’s bodies)
--Experiencing sexual objectification
--Childhood bullying for gender nonconformity
--Conforming to masculine norms
--Internalizing athletic-appearance ideals
--Experiencing discrimination
--Hiding sexual orientation from others
--Internalized homophobia
--Internalized homonegativity
--Perceived stigma
--Identifying as a member of the gay community
--Social sensitivity
--Having an unmet need to belong to the community
--Viewing femininity in a negative light
--Gender role conflict
--Being a “femme”

Eating disorders are complex, multi-faceted mental illnesses caused by a multitude of environmental and genetic influences. As such, just because a person has a few of the above risk factors, it doesn’t mean they’ll necessarily develop an eating disorder. However, it does mean they may be vulnerable to disordered eating.

If Sam Smith Was Thin, Cis And Straight, They Wouldn’t Be Ridiculed

Sam Smith Opens Up About Overcoming Body Dysmorphia
Amy Schumer Talks Fat-Shaming, Hits Back at Body Critics

Combating fatphobia in the gay community

If you are a member of the gay community and want to actively work to combat fatphobia exhibited by fellow queer men, here are some things you can do:

--Educate yourself on fatphobia, both overt and covert examples, the various settings it occurs in, and its harmful effects
--Educate yourself about initiatives like Health At Every Size (HAES)
--Read about diet culture and how it influences fatphobia and weight stigma
--Follow social media accounts advocating and organizing for fat liberation
--Examine your own misogyny and the beliefs you’ve internalized about attraction and worth
--Challenge the fatphobic attitudes of others within and outside of your community
--Correct people when they refer to their prejudices as “preferences”
--Learn to appreciate and celebrate your own body, no matter the size, shape, or weight
--Avoid self-criticism and toxic body appearance talk
--Avoid using judgmental and shaming language related to food, such as “good” or “bad” foods
--Take a zero-tolerance stance on weight discrimination, fatphobia, and toxic behaviors

At the end of the day, there cannot be queer liberation without fat liberation, too. Unfortunately, many queer men do not feel welcome in the gay community due to fatphobia, weight stigma, and negative weight-based attitudes and views. For gay men who already experience discrimination from the world at large, exclusion from their own alleged community can feel extra painful. It is going to take a lot of unlearning and intentional work to make gay spaces safe and inclusive for people of all sizes.

[Source Within Health, June 2022]

The LGBTQ Body Image Problem

For Shame, Body Shamers!

No Fats, No Fems: Everything That's Wrong With the Gay Community

Queen: Fat Bottomed Girls

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QUEER CAFE │ LGBTQ Information Network │ Established 2017