Queer Cafe

Celebrating September Equinox: Autumn Festivals Around the World

Cute and Cozy Queer Date Ideas for Fall and the Start of Spooky Season

Queer Fall Flair: How to Slay Your Queer Entertaining Season

Awesome Autumn

Spooky Season and More...

Autumn is a special season defined by cooler weather, colorful changing leaves, and the harvest of seasonal foods like apples and pumpkins. It brings a unique sense of coziness and calm.

The season of autumn is characterized by the change in nature. Colorful leaves, in particular. Trees stop making green chlorophyll as sunlight fades, revealing brilliant reds, oranges, and yellows. It is also the time for cooler weather. Crisp, refreshing air replaces the intense heat of summer. Animal preparations mark the onset of the autumn season. Squirrels hide nuts for winter and many birds migrate to warmer regions.

Autumn is all about food and harvest. It is apple picking time. Orchards fill with ripe fruit ready for cider, pies, and crisp treats. Pumpkins and squash are the obvious symbols of the season. Farms harvest huge quantities of pumpkins used for baking, carving, and decorating. Comfort foods are popular in the autumn season. Warm soups, roasted marshmallows, and hot drinks become daily staples.

Traditions and holidays abound during the autumn season. Communities celebrate the changing season with local fairs and harvest festivals. Major holidays mark the autumn season. People enjoy dressing up for Halloween and gathering with family for Thanksgiving. And don't forget The Day of the Dead and All Souls Day.

Autumn is for cozy living. Sweaters, bonfires, and evening walks mark a slower, more grounded pace of life.

Notes of Autumn: Hallmark Gay Romance
I’m Grateful to Be Gay: Otherwise I Might Have Been a Horrible Person

Fall is the Season for Gay Sports

Why is Autumn So Gay?

Autumn belongs to lesbians and sapphics...

For one reason or another, queer women, it turns out, are autumn's biggest fans. They love the falling leaves, the chilly weather, and the pumpkin spice. So, what is it about the autumn season that is so alluring for lesbians and sapphics?

We all want to fall in love in October

Norwegian singer Girl in Red, who is a real idol in the sapphic community, released her single "We Fell in Love in October" in 2018. It immediately became a fan favorite among lesbians. Her lyrics, “We fell in love in October, that’s why I love fall” have inspired many queer women like me to seek an autumn romantic fling so we can sing the words and really mean it. Autumn weddings have become popular among lesbians.

Traditionally, autumn has not been considered the season of love. Spring usually gets that honor. But, among the sapphic crowd, romance is in the air as the leaves begin to fall.

Notes of Autumn: Hallmark Gay Romance
I’m Grateful to Be Gay: Otherwise I Might Have Been a Horrible Person

Why is Autumn, Like, So Gay?
Ariana and Hannah: Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

Fall is the Season for Gay Sports

Orange is the new black

Autumnal colors are inherently queer. The fall season gives us deep burnt orange, dark maroon reds, woodsy browns, and mossy greens. When the grass gets a little darker, and the leaves start to look a little burnt, you know queer women are thriving. The colors of autumn are primal, mystic, organic, and earthy. They are the colors of nature in transition. They are the colors of the harvest, pumpkins, apples, wine, and maize.

I like my fall colors like I like my queer women... bold and outrageous... brash and vibrant... assertive and unapologetic. These autumnal hues suggest coziness, contentment, nostalgia, and bittersweetness. They conjure feelings of melancholy and introspection. And magic.

Cats

The stereotype of lesbians and their cats is strong, but it’s kind of deserved. It’s true, lesbians really do love their cats. A study by Autostraddle even proved so by showing lesbians are more likely to parent a cat than their hetero counterparts. And, of course, cats (especially black cats) are a key part of the spooky season.

Black cats are a traditional symbol of Halloween and witchcraft. They are the sinister side-kicks of witches, the favored pets of sorcerers. In most Western cultures, black cats are viewed as bringers of bad luck. Some people even believe that black cats were simply witches that have shape-shifted. As a result, black cats got a bad reputation and were consequently neglected and mistreated simply for being misunderstood, which made them kindred spirits to lesbians.

Rachel Corbman, a specialist in queer studies, said: “Cats are connected with deviant forms of femininity like witches, spinsters, and lesbians. So when you see cats come up, the pejorative assumptions are kind of reclaimed in a way.”

Celebrating September Equinox: Autumn Festivals Around the World

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Queer Fall Flair: How to Slay Your Queer Entertaining Season

Must be the Season of the Witch

In the words of Lana Del Ray (and Donovon), "It must be the season of the witch." This means all my crystal-loving girlies are in their element. Queer women have always been kindred spirits with deviant forms of femininity, such as witches. Witches didn’t adhere to societal norms. They were powerful single women who opposed a threat to masculinity, similar to queer women. I think it also stems from our love of nature and connecting with it, which is a huge part of witchcraft and pagan spirituality.

Flannels

"The first signs of Autumn aren't the migrating birds, the early morning dew, or the later sunrises. It's lesbians wearing their flannel shirts!"
-Curve Community

Queer women love a flannel, and layering season calls for them. But why? Jeans were some of the first trousers it was socially acceptable for women to wear in public, which paired well with flannels. So, it was one of the first more masculine outfits women could get away with wearing.

When queer women first come out, we often feel the need to appear more masculine in a desperate attempt to let others know we’re gay. As a result, many a “baby gay” will grab a flannel and hope it works as some sort of bat signal to other queer women. Ultimately, there is no dress code to look gay, just wear whatever you’re most comfortable in, but for many queer women, a good ol’ flannel does this.

Sweater Weather

This one is specifically for the bi ladies. "Sweater Weather" is part of the new language surrounding the LGBTQ community. In the past, queer folks could secretly identify each other by asking, "Are you a friend of Dorothy?" The modern day version is to ask, "Do you prefer sweater weather?" "Sweater Weather" is the title of a song released by the band The Neighborhood that has recently been dubbed a bi anthem by pop culture.

Similarly, the phrase "Girl in Red" is a cultural code used to ask someone if they are a lesbian or queer. Asking "Do you listen to Girl in Red?" became a popular coded question on social media platforms. People use this phrase to discreetly find out if another woman is attracted to women without asking directly.

The "Girl in Red" is Marie Ulven. She is a Norwegian singer-songwriter who records and performs under the stage name Girl in Red. She writes independent bedroom-pop music that openly explores young queer love and relationships with women. Because her lyrics are explicitly gay and deeply relatable to the sapphic community, she became a prominent queer icon. She chose the stage name after trying to text a friend to spot her in a crowd by describing a girl wearing a red sweater.

Additionally, oversized sweaters are a staple in a bisexual wardrobe, but not just any sweaters. See a sweater with the most tacky pattern or slogan on it, well, you’re in bisexual heaven. Autumn provides the perfect chance for queer couples to buy matching sweaters, be cozy, and get ready to U-Haul through the chilly nights of fall and winter.

[Source: Gemma Murphy, Strathclyde Telegraph, October 2022]

Why is Autumn, Like, So Gay?
Ariana and Hannah: Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

Celebrating September Equinox: Autumn Festivals Around the World

Cute and Cozy Queer Date Ideas for Fall and the Start of Spooky Season

Queer Fall Flair: How to Slay Your Queer Entertaining Season

Autumnal Equinox and the Queer Community

LGBTQ Folks Welcoming the Fall Season

The autumnal equinox serves as a seasonal anchor for the queer community, inspiring localized gatherings, nature-based healing workshops, and reflective retreats.

--Balance and Equilibrium: Because the equinox represents equal parts light and dark, queer groups use the transition to reflect on personal balance, bodily autonomy, and seasonal shifts.

--Community Gatherings: Organizations and grassroots collectives host seasonal events like queer gardening days, open mics, and regional retreats to build intentional connection.

--Pagan and Earth-Based Rituals: Many LGBTQ individuals intersect with witchcraft, herbalism, and pagan traditions, holding rituals, sharing harvest meals, and fostering collective care rooted in nature's cycles.

Notes of Autumn: Hallmark Gay Romance
I’m Grateful to Be Gay: Otherwise I Might Have Been a Horrible Person

Fall is the Season for Gay Sports

Fall Activities and Events

Autumn is a vibrant season for the LGBTQ community, blending cozy social traditions, seasonal travel, and major cultural events.

--Halloween and Costuming: Widely celebrated as "Gay Christian/Gay Christmas," Halloween offers the community a chance to lean into elaborate costumes, drag, and large-scale city parties.

--Fall Fashion and Layering: The arrival of cooler weather brings out iconic queer transitional fashion, including flannels, heavy boots, and oversized sweaters.

--Gay Sports Leagues: As summer pool parties end, many community members transition into fall recreational sports leagues like soccer, flag football, and kickball.

--Intimate Entertaining: Instead of massive summer festivals, fall leans toward cozy gatherings like queer book clubs by the fire, pumpkin carving, and craft cocktail nights.

Why is Autumn, Like, So Gay?
Ariana and Hannah: Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

Celebrating September Equinox: Autumn Festivals Around the World

Cute and Cozy Queer Date Ideas for Fall and the Start of Spooky Season

Queer Fall Flair: How to Slay Your Queer Entertaining Season

Major Autumn Destinations and Events

--Provincetown, Massachusetts: Fall brings a quieter, more affordable charm to P-Town post-Labor Day, featuring popular autumn events like Women's Week and TransWeek.

--Key West, Florida: Hosts the massive, outrageous Fantasy Fest in late October, which combines elements of Halloween, Mardi Gras, and Pride.

--Cozy Small Towns: Destinations like Saugatuck (Michigan), New Hope (Pennsylvania), and the Catskills become popular romantic and social weekend getaways.

Awareness and History

--Bisexual Visibility Month: Celebrated every September to raise awareness and celebrate bisexual history and community.

--National Gay Men's HIV/AIDS Awareness Day: Observed on September 27.

--LGBTQ History Month: Celebrated throughout October to recognize lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender history and civil rights milestones.

Notes of Autumn: Hallmark Gay Romance
I’m Grateful to Be Gay: Otherwise I Might Have Been a Horrible Person

Fall is the Season for Gay Sports

Autumn LGBTQ Books and Stories

Fall Queer Reading Recommendations

Spooky and Paranormal: Novels like Aiden Thomas's Cemetery Boys (featuring a transgender brujo and magical elements) and Emily Danforth's Plain Bad Heroines (a creepy, gothic tale at an all-girls boarding school) capture a dark, autumnal atmosphere.

Cozy Fantasy: Books like Travis Baldree's Legends & Lattes and Rebecca Thorne's Can't Spell Treason Without Tea offer warm, low-stakes magic and hot drinks that match the feeling of changing leaves.

Queer Books with fall (autumn) vibes to add to your reading lists:
--The Other Ones by Fran Hart
--Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree
--Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas
--Can't Spell Treason Without Tea by Rebecca Thorne
--Practical Rules for Cursed Witches by Kayla Cottingham
--Plain Bad Heroines by Emily Danforth

Gay Poet Walt Whitman

When I Heard at the Close of the Day

Walt Whitman is a famous 19th-century gay American author. His "When I Heard at the Close of the Day" is a classic American poem that beautifully blends the imagery of autumn with a celebration of gay love.

The theme is about finding deep peace and happiness in the autumn night while lying next to the man he loves. It was published in his landmark collection Leaves of Grass, it stands as one of early literature's tender expressions of same-sex affection tied to the natural world.

In the stillness in the autumn moonbeams his face was inclined toward me,

And his arm lay lightly around my breast — and that night I was happy

When I heard at the close of the day how my name had been receiv’d with plaudits in the capitol,

Still it was not a happy night for me that follow’d,
And else when I carous’d, or when my plans were accomplish’d, still I was not happy,
But the day when I rose at dawn from the bed of perfect health, refresh’d, singing, inhaling the ripe breath of autumn,
When I saw the full moon in the west grow pale and disappear in the morning light,
When I wander’d alone over the beach, and undressing bathed, laughing with the cool waters, and saw the sun rise,
And when I thought how my dear friend my lover was on his way coming, O then I was happy,
O then each breath tasted sweeter, and all that day my food nourish’d me more, and the beautiful day pass’d well,
And the next came with equal joy, and with the next at evening came my friend,
And that night while all was still I heard the waters roll slowly continually up the shores,
I heard the hissing rustle of the liquid and sands as directed to me whispering to congratulate me,
For the one I love most lay sleeping by me under the same cover in the cool night,
In the stillness in the autumn moonbeams his face was inclined toward me,
And his arm lay lightly around my breast – and that night I was happy.

Why is Autumn, Like, So Gay?
Ariana and Hannah: Trip to the Pumpkin Patch