Queer Cafe

AUTUMN

Happy Harvest | Fall Celebration | Autumnal Equinox

Happy Labor Day: Celebrating the American Worker

Jewish Holidays: Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot

Autumnal Equinox

Celebrating the Fall Season in the LGBTQ Community

The transition into autumn holds a unique and profound resonance for the LGBTQ community, serving as both a season of historical reflection and a metaphor for personal transformation. While summer is often celebrated as the peak of queer visibility due to June Pride festivities, fall brings a shift toward introspection, community building, and foundational history.

Historically, October is recognized as LGBTQ History Month, a time dedicated to celebrating the achievements, struggles, and contributions of queer individuals throughout history. This month encompasses National Coming Out Day on October 11th, a pivotal annual event that encourages visibility and honors the deeply personal journey of sharing one’s authentic self with the world. Additionally, the season calls for somber remembrance with Transgender Day of Remembrance in November, reminding the community of its shared resilience in the face of adversity. These autumn milestones ground the community in its roots, balancing the celebratory energy of summer with a reverence for those who paved the way.

Metaphorically, the natural rhythms of autumn mirror the queer experience of self-discovery and transformation. Fall is defined by change; trees shed their leaves to survive and eventually grow anew. For many LGBTQ individuals, the process of coming out and living authentically requires a similar shedding of societal expectations, closeted pasts, or superficial layers. The cooling weather also brings people indoors, fostering a distinct culture of queer nesting, intimate community gatherings, and chosen-family holidays that emphasize warmth and mutual support.

Ultimately, autumn represents a season of harvest and healing for the LGBTQ community. It is a time when the colorful, vibrant expressions of identity deepen into quiet strength, community solidarity, and a renewed commitment to honoring both personal truths and collective history.

Why is Autumn, Like, So Gay?
Ariana and Hannah: Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

Sapphic Films to Watch This Autumn

Celebrating September Equinox: Autumn Festivals Around the World

Cute and Cozy Queer Date Ideas for Fall and the Start of Spooky Season

Queer Fall Flair: How to Slay Your Queer Entertaining Season

Why is Autumn So Gay?

Autumn belongs to lesbians and sapphics...

Fallen leaves, pumpkins, and rainy nights.... There’s nothing inherently gay about Autumn, so why is it loved by lesbians and queer women so much? Here are the reasons why I, a lesbian, believe queer women are Autumn’s biggest fans.

We all want to fall in love in October

American singer Girl in Red is a massive figure in lesbian culture, with the phrase “Do you listen to Girl in Red” being used to ask women if they were queer on TikTok back in 2020. Her influence amongst queer culture is huge, so when she released her single ‘We Fell in Love in October’ in 2018, it had the same effect. Her lyrics, “We fell in love in October, that’s why I love fall”, have inspired many queer women to have an autumn romance so we can sing the words and really mean it. How else are we supposed to get all in our feels about it?

Autumn Belongs to Lesbians and Sapphics
Notes of Autumn: Hallmark Gay Romance
I’m Grateful to Be Gay: Otherwise I Might Have Been a Horrible Person

Modern Fall Gay Wedding

Gays With Kids: Pumpkin Patch Families

Reasons to be Thankful

Fall is the Season for Gay Sports

Orange (and green) is the new black

Autumnal colors are inherently queer. Ever met a girl with a forest-green couch? She’s probably a little fruity. So, when the grass gets a little darker, and the leaves start to look a little burnt, you know queer women are thriving. This one I can’t really explain anymore; maybe it comes from our love of plants? But I guess that’s another thing…

Cats

Now, this stereotype is strong, but it’s kind of deserved. It’s true, lesbians really do love cats; a study by Autostraddle even proved so by showing lesbians are more likely to parent a cat than their hetero counterparts. And what’s a key part of the spooky season? Cats, especially black cats.

Black cats are often a symbol of Halloween or witchcraft in themselves. In most Western cultures, black cats are superstitious and viewed as evil or bringers of bad luck. Some people even believe that black cats were simply witches shape-shifting themselves. As a result, black cats were neglected and mistreated simply for being misunderstood. Making them kindred spirits to lesbians.

Rachel Corbman, a specialist in queer studies, said: “Cats are connected with deviant forms of femininity like witches, spinsters, and lesbians. So when you see cats come up, the pejorative assumptions are kind of reclaimed in a way.”

Why is Autumn, Like, So Gay?
Ariana and Hannah: Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

Sapphic Films to Watch This Autumn

Celebrating September Equinox: Autumn Festivals Around the World

Cute and Cozy Queer Date Ideas for Fall and the Start of Spooky Season

Queer Fall Flair: How to Slay Your Queer Entertaining Season

Must be the season of the Witch

In the wise words of Lana Del Ray, it must be the season of the witch. This means all my crystal, rose quartz loving girlies are in their element. Continuing from my previous point, queer women have always been kindred spirits with deviant forms of femininity, such as witches. Witches didn’t adhere to societal norms; they were powerful single women who opposed a threat to masculinity, similar to queer women. I think it also stems from our love of nature and connecting with it, which is a huge part of witchcraft and spirituality.

Flannels

Queer women love a flannel, and layering season calls for them. But why? Jeans were some of the first trousers it was socially acceptable for women to wear in public, which paired well with flannels. So, it was one of the first more masculine outfits women could get away with wearing.

When Queer women first come out, we often feel the need to appear more masculine in a desperate attempt to let others know we’re gay. As a result, many a “baby gay” will grab a flannel and hope it works as some sort of bat signal to other queer women. Ultimately, there is no dress code to look gay, just wear whatever you’re most comfortable in, but for many queer women, a good ol’ flannel does this.

Note to reader: I am wearing a green flannel as I write this.

Sweater Weather

This one is specifically for the bi ladies. Similar to Girl In Red, Sweater Weather is part of the new language surrounding the LGBTQ+ community. A conversation that once went “Are you a friend of Dorothy’s?” has now become “Do you listen to Girl in Red, or do you prefer Sweater Weather?”

But what is Sweater Weather? It is a song released by The Neighborhood that has recently been dubbed a bi anthem by pop culture.

It’s not as clear or obvious why this song was chosen as a bisexual identifier. None of the bands is openly part of the queer community, but the song itself does not refer much to gender, so it seems as though this could play a role. Additionally, oversized sweaters are a staple in a bisexual wardrobe, but not just any sweaters. See a sweater with the most headache-inducing pattern or the words “World’s Best Grampa” on it, well, you’re in bisexual heaven.

Either way, Autumn provides the perfect chance for queer couples to buy matching sweaters, be cozy and get ready to U-Haul for the rest of Winter.

[Source: Gemma Murphy, Strathclyde Telegraph, October 2022]

Why is Autumn, Like, So Gay?
Ariana and Hannah: Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

Sapphic Films to Watch This Autumn

Celebrating September Equinox: Autumn Festivals Around the World

Cute and Cozy Queer Date Ideas for Fall and the Start of Spooky Season

Queer Fall Flair: How to Slay Your Queer Entertaining Season

Autumnal Equinox and the Queer Community

LGBTQ Folks Welcoming the Fall Season

The autumnal equinox serves as a seasonal anchor for the queer community, inspiring localized gatherings, nature-based healing workshops, and reflective retreats.

--Balance and Equilibrium: Because the equinox represents equal parts light and dark, queer groups use the transition to reflect on personal balance, bodily autonomy, and seasonal shifts.

--Community Gatherings: Organizations and grassroots collectives host seasonal events like queer gardening days, open mics, and regional retreats to build intentional connection.

--Pagan and Earth-Based Rituals: Many LGBTQ individuals intersect with witchcraft, herbalism, and pagan traditions, holding rituals, sharing harvest meals, and fostering collective care rooted in nature's cycles.

Autumn Belongs to Lesbians and Sapphics
Notes of Autumn: Hallmark Gay Romance
I’m Grateful to Be Gay: Otherwise I Might Have Been a Horrible Person

Modern Fall Gay Wedding

Gays With Kids: Pumpkin Patch Families

Reasons to be Thankful

Fall is the Season for Gay Sports

Fall Activities and Events

Autumn is a vibrant season for the LGBTQ community, blending cozy social traditions, seasonal travel, and major cultural events.

--Halloween and Costuming: Widely celebrated as "Gay Christian/Gay Christmas," Halloween offers the community a chance to lean into elaborate costumes, drag, and large-scale city parties.

--Fall Fashion and Layering: The arrival of cooler weather brings out iconic queer transitional fashion, including flannels, heavy boots, and oversized sweaters.

--Gay Sports Leagues: As summer pool parties end, many community members transition into fall recreational sports leagues like soccer, flag football, and kickball.

--Intimate Entertaining: Instead of massive summer festivals, fall leans toward cozy gatherings like queer book clubs by the fire, pumpkin carving, and craft cocktail nights.

Why is Autumn, Like, So Gay?
Ariana and Hannah: Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

Sapphic Films to Watch This Autumn

Celebrating September Equinox: Autumn Festivals Around the World

Cute and Cozy Queer Date Ideas for Fall and the Start of Spooky Season

Queer Fall Flair: How to Slay Your Queer Entertaining Season

Major Autumn Destinations and Events

--Provincetown, Massachusetts: Fall brings a quieter, more affordable charm to P-Town post-Labor Day, featuring popular autumn events like Women's Week and TransWeek.

--Key West, Florida: Hosts the massive, outrageous Fantasy Fest in late October, which combines elements of Halloween, Mardi Gras, and Pride.

--Cozy Small Towns: Destinations like Saugatuck (Michigan), New Hope (Pennsylvania), and the Catskills become popular romantic and social weekend getaways.

Awareness and History

--Bisexual Visibility Month: Celebrated every September to raise awareness and celebrate bisexual history and community.

--National Gay Men's HIV/AIDS Awareness Day: Observed on September 27.

--LGBTQ History Month: Celebrated throughout October to recognize lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender history and civil rights milestones.

Autumn Belongs to Lesbians and Sapphics
Notes of Autumn: Hallmark Gay Romance
I’m Grateful to Be Gay: Otherwise I Might Have Been a Horrible Person

Modern Fall Gay Wedding

Gays With Kids: Pumpkin Patch Families

Reasons to be Thankful

Fall is the Season for Gay Sports

Autumn LGBTQ Books and Stories

Fall Queer Reading Recommendations

Spooky and Paranormal: Novels like Aiden Thomas's Cemetery Boys (featuring a transgender brujo and magical elements) and Emily Danforth's Plain Bad Heroines (a creepy, gothic tale at an all-girls boarding school) capture a dark, autumnal atmosphere.

Cozy Fantasy: Books like Travis Baldree's Legends & Lattes and Rebecca Thorne's Can't Spell Treason Without Tea offer warm, low-stakes magic and hot drinks that match the feeling of changing leaves.

Queer Books with fall (autumn) vibes to add to your reading lists:
--The Other Ones by Fran Hart
--Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree
--Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas
-Can't Spell Treason Without Tea by Rebecca Thorne
--Practical Rules for Cursed Witches by Kayla Cottingham
--Plain Bad Heroines by Emily Danforth

Gay Poet Walt Whitman

When I Heard at the Close of the Day

Walt Whitman is a famous 19th-century gay American author. His "When I Heard at the Close of the Day" is a classic American poem that beautifully blends the imagery of autumn with a celebration of gay love.

The theme is about finding deep peace and happiness in the autumn night while lying next to the man he loves. It was published in his landmark collection Leaves of Grass, it stands as one of early literature's tender expressions of same-sex affection tied to the natural world.

In the stillness in the autumn moonbeams his face was inclined toward me,

And his arm lay lightly around my breast — and that night I was happy

When I heard at the close of the day how my name had been receiv’d with plaudits in the capitol, still it was not a happy night for me that follow’d,
And else when I carous’d, or when my plans were accomplish’d, still I was not happy,
But the day when I rose at dawn from the bed of perfect health, refresh’d, singing, inhaling the ripe breath of autumn,
When I saw the full moon in the west grow pale and disappear in the morning light,
When I wander’d alone over the beach, and undressing bathed, laughing with the cool waters, and saw the sun rise,
And when I thought how my dear friend my lover was on his way coming, O then I was happy,
O then each breath tasted sweeter, and all that day my food nourish’d me more, and the beautiful day pass’d well,
And the next came with equal joy, and with the next at evening came my friend,
And that night while all was still I heard the waters roll slowly continually up the shores,
I heard the hissing rustle of the liquid and sands as directed to me whispering to congratulate me,
For the one I love most lay sleeping by me under the same cover in the cool night,
In the stillness in the autumn moonbeams his face was inclined toward me,
And his arm lay lightly around my breast – and that night I was happy.

Why is Autumn, Like, So Gay?
Ariana and Hannah: Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

Sapphic Films to Watch This Autumn

Celebrating September Equinox: Autumn Festivals Around the World

Cute and Cozy Queer Date Ideas for Fall and the Start of Spooky Season

Queer Fall Flair: How to Slay Your Queer Entertaining Season

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